God's Grace
Today is the first day I have not been to see Kristin in the last week. My heart was with her so much - I thought of her all day. It seems she got thru another day without any fever. But still, I don't know how she is really doing without seeing her.
But something tremendous happened today. God wrapped his loving arms around me thru the many correspondances of love I received. I received comments on my blog and emails from others today that really ministered to my soul. I was just reminded of how down I was yesterday and how much I was dreading today because of a heavy work load (I worked from 9:00am-7:30pm) and not being able to see Kristin. Then I suddenly realized how God worked thru so many people to encourage me and give me a smile on my face again. I got several phone calls from people in our church, had many caring customers who expressed their concern and got several emails from others who wanted to remind me they were praying. God is so good.
Father, please forgive me for the times I take my eyes off you and focus on my situation thru human eyes. You do so many things that I don't even notice. I'm so sorry for that Lord. Help me to be more aware of You in every situation. Help me to be more thankful and less doubting. I know you are in control of Kristin's illness. I'm sorry I get impatient - and demanding for answers. Allow my faith to grow and to trust in your ways and timing.
Lord, I so want Kristin to go be with you. But I know I am selfish and tend to think I know better than you. It is hard to see her struggle inside a body that doesn't work when I know she could be whole and complete with you in heaven. I know I focus too much on my pain - the pain of not having a daughter who can play and run and laugh. But most of all not being able to hear her say "mommy" or "I love you". Not being able to get good night kisses or hugs or hear her voice. It hurts so much sometimes I think I will die. But never do I doubt that you are God and your ways and thoughts are higher than mine. I know I only see but a portion. Thank you for the hope I have that eternity will be perfect and that is where Kristin and I will get to share our time together. Help me to focus on what you want me to do - your perfect will for my life and hers.
Thank you Lord, that today you showed me your love thru friends and strangers. Thank you for answering the prayers that have been sent on our behalf and strengthening my faith and my spirit. You are so good - words cannot describe your love and grace. Well, actually I guess one word can - JESUS. Thank you Lord Jesus for being alive in the world and sharing your spirit as proof. Because of you - I pray - Amen.
But something tremendous happened today. God wrapped his loving arms around me thru the many correspondances of love I received. I received comments on my blog and emails from others today that really ministered to my soul. I was just reminded of how down I was yesterday and how much I was dreading today because of a heavy work load (I worked from 9:00am-7:30pm) and not being able to see Kristin. Then I suddenly realized how God worked thru so many people to encourage me and give me a smile on my face again. I got several phone calls from people in our church, had many caring customers who expressed their concern and got several emails from others who wanted to remind me they were praying. God is so good.
Father, please forgive me for the times I take my eyes off you and focus on my situation thru human eyes. You do so many things that I don't even notice. I'm so sorry for that Lord. Help me to be more aware of You in every situation. Help me to be more thankful and less doubting. I know you are in control of Kristin's illness. I'm sorry I get impatient - and demanding for answers. Allow my faith to grow and to trust in your ways and timing.
Lord, I so want Kristin to go be with you. But I know I am selfish and tend to think I know better than you. It is hard to see her struggle inside a body that doesn't work when I know she could be whole and complete with you in heaven. I know I focus too much on my pain - the pain of not having a daughter who can play and run and laugh. But most of all not being able to hear her say "mommy" or "I love you". Not being able to get good night kisses or hugs or hear her voice. It hurts so much sometimes I think I will die. But never do I doubt that you are God and your ways and thoughts are higher than mine. I know I only see but a portion. Thank you for the hope I have that eternity will be perfect and that is where Kristin and I will get to share our time together. Help me to focus on what you want me to do - your perfect will for my life and hers.
Thank you Lord, that today you showed me your love thru friends and strangers. Thank you for answering the prayers that have been sent on our behalf and strengthening my faith and my spirit. You are so good - words cannot describe your love and grace. Well, actually I guess one word can - JESUS. Thank you Lord Jesus for being alive in the world and sharing your spirit as proof. Because of you - I pray - Amen.
posted by Jojo @ 10:27 PM
3 Comments:
At 10:09 AM,
Jojo said…
My Dear Friend Lepido,
Thank you for your kindness and compassion.
I've been thinking about you too and wondered what they decided at your church about using your motor home and going south to help. Also, have you heard anything from your son?
Don't know much more about Kristin yet. I called this morning and requested for a Dr to call after doing rounds and fill me in on the plan. She did not tolerate being up in her wheelchair yesterday. They left her up about an hour but her heart rate went up and she got very aggitated and diaphoretic. She calmed when they layed her back down. It is frustrating because that is how this whole ordeal started was her getting upset when they put her in her chair. And being in her chair is ususally what she likes best. So hopefully I'll know more later.
At 10:56 AM,
Clandestine said…
Oh Jojo, it is so heartbreaking to read your words that are so full of pain. But I am so glad for you that you have your faith to help you through such an incredibly difficult situation. You and your family are always in my thoughts. I wish there was more that could be done to help you and to help ease your suffering, but I am glad to know that your faith and your friends help.
At 10:53 AM,
Anna said…
Hi JoJo -
Yep! Fixed the problem with the password.
How is Kristin doing? We're continuing to keep all of you in prayer, as well as asking others to pray.
Blessings,
Anna
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