Committed To Jesus

Not long ago, I bought a DVD of a Christian comedian named Ken Davis. It is called, Super Sheep and in it Ken uses humor to explain why the Bible compares us to sheep. But the main point of his message is, we must be driven to a day by day, minute by minute commitment to Jesus because there is trouble in this world. I’d like to share with you my journey to having this kind of commitment to the Lord.

Jesus tells us in John 16:33, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” We know these words are true, not only because Jesus said them but because we hear news of trouble each and everyday. As we talk to others, while watching the news on TV or when we open our newspapers, we are bombarded with story after story of heartache and pain. Murders, war, disease, and death, the list goes on and on. These kinds of problems are not new, but sometimes we seem to think these things only happen to other people. When trouble strikes our own lives what is the first thing we think? “Why God, what have I done to deserve this heartache in my life?” I think we’ve all been there. I know I have. When I learned that my daughter, Kristin, was severely brain damaged from a difficult breech birth, I immediately wondered why God had allowed this tragedy in my life. What was He punishing me for? After all, I had just become a Christian a couple years before and was trying to get my life right. Why was He punishing me for the sins of my past, I wondered?

After Kristin was born, people used to tell me all the time, “Don’t worry, God won’t give you more than you can handle.” But it sure felt like more than I could handle. It felt like more than anyone should have to bear. The care of a baby the first year is exhausting in normal circumstances, but when you are caring for the needs of an infant with severe problems, the care and load is magnified. Kristin could not swallow, so she had to have a feeding tube inserted in her stomach and this is how she received all her feedings and medications. Because she couldn’t swallow, she also had a lot of respiratory problems which caused her to require frequent suctioning and breathing treatments. She ended up needing to have a tracheotomy when she was less than 3 months old. Because of high blood pressure and seizure activity she required several medications. And because of her Cerebral Palsy, she needed therapy each day to prevent her muscles from restricting and drawing up. Her room was filled with machines and equipment. It looked more like a hospital room than a nursery. And I felt more like a nurse than a mother.

We got some home nursing care for awhile but the hours they came into our home to care for her, I was working to keep my hair salon open. I was either working in the salon or taking care of Kristin. I couldn’t even get out and go to the grocery store very often, let alone have quality time with my 6 year old son and my husband. The only time I got a glimpse of a “normal” life was when she became sick and had to be admitted to the hospital and then we were driving back and forth to Indianapolis to visit and learn what changes needed to be made for her care. My life revolved around her schedule and there was very little time for anything else. I didn’t understand how God expected me to handle this load and I definitely didn’t see how He could help me.

After a few months our insurance began weaning our nursing care. Soon it became clear that we could not provide the care Kristin needed at home anymore. So after fifteen months, we came to the painful decision to place her in a skilled nursing facility. This is one of the hardest decisions my husband Mark and I ever had to make, but it became clear it was what was best for Kristin and our family. It was then that I became involved in a Bible study for the very first time.

The first study I did was the gospel of Mark. Right away I began reading about all kinds of trouble the people back then were having. I read about those who were sick with fevers, skin diseases, & paralysis. I read about the woman who had bled for twelve years, the man whose young daughter died, people who were demon-possessed. The troubles went on and on. Jesus traveled from place to place healing the sick and teaching in the villages. The people would flock to Jesus and listen to Him for hours. Some followed him for days. I saw people in need who were desperately looking for answers to life. I could relate to that.

I remember in another study later on, I read the words of James, which said, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” I was so encouraged by this passage, because at first, I had thought God was punishing me or He had turned His back on me. But now I was beginning to understand that my troubles were proof that God was working in my life. It was all part of maturing me in the faith and helping me to depend on God. Before Kristin was born, I used to think the only thing missing from having a perfect life, was having a lot of money. How awesome it would be to not be in debt and to be able to buy the things I wanted, and buy nice things for others, I would often dream. But I have a vivid memory of my thoughts one day. This was about the time we first learned the extent of Kristin’s problems and were realizing what her life would be like. I thought, “No amount of money in the world can fix her brain damage. There is absolutely nothing we can do to make her well or change this situation.” It was such a complete sense of hopelessness. I wanted to shut the world out and make it all go away. I can look back now and see how that was a turning point for me. There was nothing humanly possible that could help, so I had to turn to the only one who could. I had been missing the most important thing, a day by day, minute by minute relationship with Christ. What a difference this has made in my life.


Another passage, that really proved God’s presence in my life was Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” The first couple years of Kristin’s life I sure didn’t see any good that could come from her disabilities and suffering. I would think, “You are wrong in this situation Lord. Nothing is good about my baby girl having to live her life like this. It’s not fair, no one deserves this!” But I later came to understand that the passage didn’t say everything is good, but that God promises to bring good from every circumstance. There is nothing He allows in our lives that He cannot use for our good. I think the second part of that verse is the key, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son.” He was molding me to be like Jesus. When we read the Bible we see how God uses trials to bring us closer to Him. Reading the Bible is essential in having a day by day, minute by minute commitment to the Lord. Our faith grows as we read about the lives of others and see how God worked in their lives.

In the 12th chapter of 2 Corinthians we read about Paul’s thorn in the flesh. He begged God to remove it but the answer he got was, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul goes on to say, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” At first we might be tempted to think Paul must be nuts. He delights in weaknesses, and hardships and persecutions? How can anyone delight in pain we wonder? But when things are going well, we tend to put our confidence in ourselves. We can forget God pretty quickly. But when we are weak, then we must depend on God’s strength to get us through. If we remember, this is how God got Paul’s attention to begin with. Paul, then called Saul, was a self-reliant man who thought he had it all together. He thought he was living for the Lord by killing Christians. God had to strike him blind to get his attention. It wasn’t until Paul was made weak that he stopped to listen to God. He went on to be one of the greatest Christians in the Bible. But it all started when trouble came into his life. He was forced to turn to God. Once he came to know the real God, he was content to live with hardships. It then became all about living for Christ. Paul began living a day by day, minute by minute life committed to Jesus.

I think my favorite story in the Bible is in the Old Testament, about Joseph. Now this guy endured hardships. He started out as the favorite son which caused him to be hated by his older brothers. Because of their jealousy he was sold for silver and taken to Egypt where he was sold again and became the possession of Potiphar. Because the Lord was with him, he found favor with Potiphar and he put him in charge of his household and all he owned. Things were looking good. But then, because he was a handsome man, he found favor with Potiphar’s wife and when he refused to be intimate with her he found himself falsely accused and thrown in jail. But once again, because the Lord was with him, he found favor in the eyes of the prison warden and was put in charge again. Eventually Joseph ended up in charge of Egypt and his brothers were at his mercy. Did Joseph ever lose sight of God and trusting that He was with him, working all these things for good? I think we find proof of the contrary when we read what he said to his brothers. “Do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you….God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God.” Joseph could have only grown to have this kind of faith, because he lived committed to the Lord, day by day, & minute by minute.

Reading about Joseph and Paul and all the other great people of faith can encourage us and help us grow in our own faith. But the best example we can find of living victorious through problems is Jesus himself. He was probably the most misunderstood person to ever live. He was doubted, accused, mocked, abandoned, beaten and crucified on a cross. But he never lost sight of the bigger plan and the eternal value to be gained from his suffering. In Matthew we read about Jesus’ baptism and then following that we read, “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.” His problems began immediately. But notice that Satan didn’t come to Him until he had fasted for 40 days and nights. He planned to attack Jesus when He was alone, weak and hungry. He even used God’s Word to do the tempting. But Jesus not only knew the scriptures Himself, He obeyed them, and because of this, He was able to resist those temptations. This immediately makes me think of 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” Our way out is a day by day, minute by minute commitment to the Lord.

In Mark chapter 14, we can find another example as we look toward the end of Jesus’ life. He had just finished having the last supper with his disciples when he took Peter, James and John away with him to pray. He explained to them how distressed he was and asked them to keep watch as he went off to pray alone. “Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will,“ he prayed. Jesus knew that he was about to endure excruciating pain and suffering, but he also knew following the plan of God was more important. He went back to find his friends had fallen asleep and he said to them, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Jesus shows us that prayer is essential in coming thru our struggles and overcoming temptation. We can see by looking at Jesus’ life that knowing God’s Word and time alone in prayer is how we are to have that day by day, minute by minute commitment.

Jesus tells us there will be trouble in this world, and we can see proof of it all around us. But He also says, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I have had troubles in my life. My precious Kristin went home to be with the Lord on Nov 9th, 2005. She was ten years old. Life is hard and it hurts. But I am standing here to tell you, it is possible to come thru your troubles victorious. But we can’t do it in our own power. We need God’s Word and we need prayer. We need to be committed to a day by day, minute by minute relationship with Jesus. He gave His life so we could.