In Memory of Paul
Today's post is in memory of my sweet friend Paul Wetherald. Paul lived at the same nursing home where my daughter Kristin lives. Paul was known and loved by everyone who visited at the home. He was 39 years old, but had been there since he was 7. He was the first resident my husband and I met when we went to visit the first time to check out the facility. He was the most outgoing, sweetest soul you could ever meet. He never knew a stranger and never forgot a face.
Paul captured my heart early on. He was one of the few there who can talk and interact with visitors. He loved to sit and hold your hand and pat you. He also loved when people from our church (or other churches) came to have a service for them. He always came rolling down the hall with his hymnal and his Bible. He would ask me each time I saw him, in between church visits when we were coming back to have church. It was something he always looked forward to. His favorite hymn was "In the Garden", so now I can picture him in heaven walking in the garden with Jesus. Here is a link with the words and music: http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/i/t/g/itgarden.htm.
Paul, my sweetheart, I miss you dearly. Going to see Kristin will not be the same without seeing your sweet face. I will always hear your words ringing out as I leave saying, "Be careful". You knew I loved you Paul, and I know you loved me. And the best part is, we will be together again someday - for eternity. And you will be walking and running and doing all the things you couldn't do here. Until we meet again, dear friend...enjoy the garden and being with our precious Savior. :)
Paul captured my heart early on. He was one of the few there who can talk and interact with visitors. He loved to sit and hold your hand and pat you. He also loved when people from our church (or other churches) came to have a service for them. He always came rolling down the hall with his hymnal and his Bible. He would ask me each time I saw him, in between church visits when we were coming back to have church. It was something he always looked forward to. His favorite hymn was "In the Garden", so now I can picture him in heaven walking in the garden with Jesus. Here is a link with the words and music: http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/i/t/g/itgarden.htm.
Paul, my sweetheart, I miss you dearly. Going to see Kristin will not be the same without seeing your sweet face. I will always hear your words ringing out as I leave saying, "Be careful". You knew I loved you Paul, and I know you loved me. And the best part is, we will be together again someday - for eternity. And you will be walking and running and doing all the things you couldn't do here. Until we meet again, dear friend...enjoy the garden and being with our precious Savior. :)
posted by Jojo @ 5:13 PM
6 Comments:
At 9:00 PM,
Clandestine said…
Hey Jojo,
thanks for your well wishes - my partner's tailbone injury is really painful for her, so she can use your prayers! The medicine makes her go to sleep, when when she's awake, she's in a lot of pain. :(
I just read some of your blog. You must be very strong - a teenage son and a daughter in a nursing home. Was your daughter in an accident (if you don't mind my asking)? How old is she?
Thanks again for the well-wishes. I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Sounds like he was a really special person.
At 9:53 PM,
Jojo said…
Hi Anonymous,
Thanks for visiting my blog. I have prayed for your friend and will continue. I guess the medicine making her sleep is a good thing. How did she break her tailbone?
My daughter is 10 yrs old. She was breech and we did not realize it, so when I went into labor with her, she came very quickly and was born at home because I could not get to the hospital in time. Her body came out, but her head was caught inside of me - causing brain damage. She was in the hospital 5 weeks and during that time they had to insert a feeding tube. She cannot swallow and has never been able to eat by mouth. She also had lots and lots of secretions and requires frequent suctioning, so we had to have a tracheotomy done when she was 3 months old. She lived at home with us for the first 15 months, but required many hospitalizations during that time and when she was home it was a full time job 24/7 caring for her. Her schedule consisted of G-tube feeding thru a pump, breathing treatments, many medications, and frequent suctioning. She also got therapies (physical, occupational, speech) Was too much to handle. We had no family who could help. We did get some in home nursing for about 6 months but without that her care was too much. So we were forced to put her in this special facility. The good part is, it is only about 40 min from our home. There are only a couple in the whole state - so to have one that close is a blessing from the Lord. Yes, it has taken a lot of strength, but I can honestly say, my strength comes from the Lord.
My son is 15 and he is my joy. It is definitly very scarey raising a child in the world today - just like earlier this week there was a big party where a lot of the kids from school went. There was lots of drinking and such going on and a big fight broke out. Many of the kids stayed all night in tents - both boys and girls. My son did not go - we didn't even know about it until it was over - but thinking of the peer pressure kids are under - You love your kids so much and want to protect them from any harm - but they think the bad things only happen to other people. Well - I'm sorry - I have rambled on long enough. Have a good weekend Anonymous and come back and chat anytime.
Father, right now I ask again that you would be with Anonymous and her friend. Please give her friend strength to endure the intense pain she is in. Help her bone to heal quickly and correctly. I pray that this injury will not cause her long standing problems. Give Anonymous patience and love as she cares for her friend. I pray your blessing in both of their lives. In Jesus Name - Amen
At 3:59 PM,
Clandestine said…
Hi,
No need to apologize! And thanks again for your wishes. M (that's what we'll call her) fell down the stairs - that's how she broke her tailbone. She was in a hurry out the door on Thursday on the way to work, and she slipped on the top step and slip to the bottom, hitting her head on the front door! It seems to be a clean crack, so she shouldn't have any residual problems as long as she doesn't fall again or anything like that. It's actually pretty lucky that she didn't get more hurt, and, we had nothing planned for this weekend, anyway. Next weekend, we do have to go to a wedding, though, and we're driving about 5 hours to get there, so hopefully she'll feel a little better by then so that the ride won't be too awful...she's actually a little better today than yesterday, so the prayers seem to be working :)
What a journey you have made with your daughter! I hope you don't mind my asking more questions - just tell me to mind my own business if you want - I won't be offended :) Does she still get physical and speech therapy? Is she aware of her surroundings? Can she communicate? What an amazing story. Does your son visit, too?
I can't even imagine having a child. You must just worry so much. I give parents so much credit. It sounds like your son must be started on the right path if he didn't even know about that party - it probably means he has positive friends. I worked with teenagers for two years at my last job. It's such a trying time for everyone involved! I guess the best you can do is teach him right from wrong, make sure he knows what you expect and then be consistent. The kids I worked with who were the most successful and happy were those whose parents did those things - and not those with parents who wanted to be their friend first, you know?
Well, you're in my thoughts, too!
At 10:08 PM,
Jojo said…
Hi Anonymous,
Just got back from seeing Monster in Law. It was funny - but not my favorite J Lo movie. I think Angel Eyes might be - or Maid in Manhattan.
No, I do not mind you asking questions at all. I have found that talking about the hard things in life make them more bearable. Yes, she still gets therapies, but mostly thru the school system now. She has therapist who consult thru her school and they work together to come up with goals and things to work on to achieve them (head control, reaching for a toy, smiling in response to something she likes etc). Her schooling is not what we would think of as school, as these children will never read or write, but it's still time with other kids in an atmosphere to encourage physical and mental growth. She communicates in her own ways. Used to be very minimal, but then she started smiling at her Elmo tapes and then we got her some Elmo toys (Tickle me Elmo etc) and she began smiling at more and more things. She loves music and she loves watching video's. She has a favorite toy. It is a dancing hamster that I got her last yr for her b-day. It is a girl, dressed up in a velvet dress, pearls, false eyelashed, makeup etc. It sings "I Will Survive". Do you rememer that song from the late 70's or maybe early 80's? She thinks it is hysterical and she always smiles and sometimes laughs when we push it's paw and it performs. She cannot sit up on her own, hold her head up, grasp things in her hands. We don't know if she knows us as her family. She does turn her head and look at me when I talk to her, and for the last few months, when I go visit, before I leave, I bend down next to her and say, " Can Mommy have a kiss?" And she turns toward me and I kiss her. I don't know if she knows what will happen or if she just turns to me cause I talk to her - but used to - she would turn away when we got close to her face. Yes, my son goes to visit too.
My son did know about the party, but knew I would not let him go, so he didn't ask. His father and I are divorced (since he was 3) and he is with him this weekend - but this evening he is with his cousin who is 16. I hate the way I feel, so scared they will get into a wreck or some sort of trouble. The community where we live is a big drinking community and it seems the kids live to party. So many parents think it's harmless, but I do not. We had a talk the other evening and I told him some of my fears (again) and he told me I didn't have to worry - he had no desire to drink. I know he meant it, he is really into fitness and nutrition, but I know how tough peer pressure can be. I also know all the things I did at that age and it was not good. I just don't want him to make the same mistakes I did. I try to do what I think would have helped me - but every person is different in what they need. But I think you are right, they need us to be their parents, not their friend.
It does sound like your friend is fortunate to not have gotten hurt even worse - but this is bad enough. How long does the Dr. expect it to take to heal?
At 12:03 PM,
Clandestine said…
Good morning, jojo!
Glad to hear you liked the movie enough, anyway. I'll probably wait to see it until it is on dvd, though.
So the facility where Kristin lives is specifically for kids in similar situations? What an incredibly emotionally-charged place that must be! Does she still like Elmo? That's sweet. She must like the way the things move and make high-pitched, happy noises. Perhaps she'd also like teletubbies! :)
I had a friend in college who was hit by a car and in a coma for two weeks before she died. When she was in the hospital, a couple of us went into the room at a time to 'say goodbye' when her parents had decided that they had no choice but to remove all the machines and let her go. I remember being in there with her best friend, and you could feel a peace come over the room. The machines demonstrated that she was calming down - her heart beat slowed down to a more normal pace and things like that...it was clear she knew we were in there and that we were letting her know everything was going to be okay.
So I think that no matter how much your daughter can respond or not to you, she must know that you are someone who loves her and cares about her very much. She may not know the word 'mother,' but I'm sure she knows you care about her more than anyone else does. That sort of love is felt in the heart and soul.
At 9:05 AM,
Jojo said…
Hi Anonymous,
Yes, the facility where my daughter is, is for "children" with severe problems. Many have been there so long they are now adults. It is a good place to visit when feeling sorry for oneself - it puts things in perspective and helps one to realize the miracle of a healthy child.
Yes, she still likes Elmo. I don't know about Teletubbies - never been exposed to them that I know of.
Thank you for your kind words. That is what I hope - that she can sense my deep love for her and that it is calming and comforting for her. I just look forward, more than anything, to when we are together in heaven. I know she will then be whole, without limitation, and she will understand who I am, but more importantly, she will know the true and perfect love of Christ.
There are times that she smiles for no apparant reason, and at those times I wonder if she already knows Him and He is speaking to her, or showing her a beautiful vision of the future.
Today is starting out rainy - yuck! But I cannot complain because yesterday was the day I most wanted nice weather, and it was absolutely beautiful! Think I will go visit my daughter and then go shopping. Hope you have a great day - is your friend feeling better today? Did I tell you we have a wedding this next weekend too? It is my husband's neice, so we will get to be with all his family, who we don't see very often.
Post a Comment
<< Home