A Year Ago

It's hard to believe that a year ago today we were holding our precious daughter as she went to be with Jesus. So many emotions - so many memories. But so much to be thankful for. Yes, we miss her every day, but we would not want her to be back here with us - that would be selfish. We just look forward to being with her - to being with the Lord. I love to imagine what her life is like now. I know my thoughts don't come close to how wonderful it really is. I know Jesus prepared a very special place. One thing I wonder about often, is how much she knows about us. I struggle sometimes with earthly thoughts. We often hear how she is looking over us now. But I don't really think that is true. I think some things are limited only for God to do. We know from scripture that when we go to be with the Lord there is no more sadness or tears and I just don't see how you could look down here and not be sad. But possibly God allows her glimpses. I often pray for God to tell her things from me and to give her hugs and kisses from me. Of course I don't know if he allows this - but I know his ways are perfect. I don't have to know all the answers, because I know enough to be at peace. I know God's love is perfect and I know she is with him. I know she is whole and that she isn't suffering anymore. I know I don't have to worry about her and that I will be with her again. I so look forward to getting my first hug and kiss from her and hearing "I love you mommy" for the very first time. I never experienced those things in her 10 years of life, but that's ok too because God's thoughts and ways are higher than ours and what he allows is what we need. I will close with one of my favorite songs from Watermark called Glory Baby:

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…
Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do
Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…
BRIDGE:
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…